Being a stay at home mom is really hard work. It is not for the weak, you need to seriously be one tough cookie to handle this job. You are more than just a mom. Being a stay at home mom means you are the CEO of the household. Accountant, house cleaner, landscaper, engineer, dry cleaners, nanny, etc. This list could go on and on. I am among those blessed to stay home with my girls, I truly love it. But, I will not sit here and say that I have not thought I was loosing my mind. There are days when we feel like we are going crazy. That is a totally okay feeling to have! I promise, this is normal and you’re not going crazy mom! Some days… or weeks are much harder than others but you can make it through.
My craziness started when my first daughter was about 3 weeks old. She had colic and my nightmare began. Colic is something that I would not wish upon my greatest enemy. It tests your ability to handle difficult situations, care for a newborn that really needs you, and teaches you a whole different level of patience you never knew existed. Her colic lasted 4 months, she cried all day, it was difficult to find a way to soothe her and I was at my wits end. I would call my mother, mentally drained and tell her that I was going crazy. If you have never had a child with colic, then there is no way you could possibly imagine what this feels like. This was the hardest thing I ever went through.
I remember my breaking point very vividly. Sissy was just not calming down, I couldn’t soothe her and I didn’t know what to do. I called my mom, she suggested a bath. Afterwards, I called my husband and I just began sobbing, uncontrollably sobbing. There wasn’t much he could do for me, so I put her in the bath. Shortly after, his father called me and said he was on his way to give me a break. I was never so thankful for something in my life. He got to my house, and told me to go mow my lawn (my favorite household chore… its a rider!). I guess I never knew how much I needed that help. I will always appreciate his kindness and generosity to save the day!
All moms reach a point when there is so much chaos or craziness going on that they really feel mentally exhausted, this exhaustion, is what is okay to feel. You are not alone.
Moms, especially stay at home moms, tend to become overwhelmed quite quickly. What I mean by this, is the never ending job of cleaning the house, doing laundry, taking care of children and the list goes on and on. Your children can be flipping out at the same time in public and you just stand there with a blank face thinking to yourself…WTF! Your brain just feels fried, completely fried. You can barely even carry on a conversation with an adult because by the time the kids are in bed you can no longer think! Tell your husband to refrain from any conversations because you wont make sense!
It is normal to feel overwhelmed. You are not alone, stay at home moms feels this way and even working moms feel this way. You are not crazy, you just need a break! What you really need is a freaking vacation! Sometimes I want to take a vacation all by my lonesome but I would miss my family 30 minutes after leaving them! But, what you do need is that break!
Recruit help, whether that is a baby sitter or family member that can help. Have them come over for a couple hours so you can get out and do things but yourself. You need a breather. Meet a friend for coffee, or your husband for lunch even go to the park alone and swing on the swing set for a while. But in order to get a clear and refreshed mind, you should remove yourself from the situation to collect your thoughts and get your wits about you. This is fine, it is normal again you are not alone.
You Hear Your Kids Crying When They’re Sound Asleep!
Oh, how I hate this one. I will lay awake at night staring at that stinking monitor because I swore I could hear one of them crying. I have two children under two years apart. We have a lot going on in my house. I have a toddler who is in the whining stage, constantly whiny. I have a infant that will cry because big sister pushed her over. after a while, that noise gets engraved in your brain. You will begin to hear it but the majority of the time, its just in your head.
What you can do, draw that noise out with your own music. Put on some music, listen to something that you love. Get your kids up to dance with you. Sing along and have a dance party with them! Kids love music and it gives you a chance to refresh your brain. Plus, hopefully this will avoid meltdowns for a few minutes. At night, I fall asleep with a fan and noise maker. This draws out any unwanted brain noise and allows my mind to quiet down. Another thing you can do is to use meditation as a way to relax your mind!
Either way, you are not alone, you’re not crazy. We have all thought we heard our kids when they are peacefully sleeping! Its totally okay, find a method where you can relax your mind and those noises will fade away!
We love our children, we love being stay at home mothers too. But, this post is not about that! My Dear Mom posts are meant to connect with others. Being a stay at home mom or simply a mother that works full time, does not mean every moment of everyday is perfect. It can be challenging, very challenging. A great way to release frustration is to write about it or talk to others about it. I use this blog as a way to show moms that they are not alone when they want to cry or when they are feeling so overwhelmed you wonder if your loosing it! It’s okay!
The best thing you can do for your family is to recognize when you feel drained and take the action necessary to work on yourself. I encourage all mothers to find something that will help you quiet your mind and release any frustration. I seek help to get alone time and I also participate in yoga. Now, I do not do yoga in studio, I do this at home but I find time for myself! You may feel like you are loosing your marbles but I promise you you’re not! Collect your mind and get YOU, back.
Check out Dear Mom, It’s Okay To Cry, for another dear mom post! I hope you can relate to that post is well!