My oldest daughter has entered the stage of her life where most described it as terrible twos. We like to call it conquering the terrific twos!
I know most of you know the feeling of putting a smile on your face, talking in a calm tone to your child that is throwing themselves to the ground in Target, wailing like a banshee over what? Not a clue!!! We have all been there, these are the days that test our parenting ability like no ones business! But what if we could understand why it happens and easy ways to avoid it? Then this period would be truly terrific.
We refer to this time as terrific because a toddler is really going through a huge learning point in their lives. This time is truly magnificent if you stand back and look at the psychology behind why our children throw a tantrum, than you may be able to help avoid a tantrum to begin with.
Why it’s called terrible twos?
- Mobility: At this point in your child’s life they should be walking, running, jumping… front rolls if your like Sis! They are physically able to do more! When kids are confined too much then immobility can easily cause a tantrum!
- Speech: Your child is developing their voice, they have lots to say and sometimes they can’t find the words to tell you their feelings. Again, the inability to fully communicate their needs causes a tantrum!
- Independence: Aw, your baby is no longer a baby! I know, breaks your heart! But, Your child is learning to be an independent person! They don’t want to ride in the cart, they don’t want to hold your hand, they want to dress themselves! Ah, its heart breaking! This independence is another reason tantrums occur!
How we conquer the terrible twos!
The key to avoiding a tantrum is to know your child well enough to see what makes them tick and learn how to overcome that before the tick happens. These tips are what we do to avoid tantrums and let my daughters spirit shine!
- When you see a tantrum coming on, change the mood by making your child laugh! When sis is about to scream, I tell her I am going to bite her! I roar like a lion but softly… we are in public, and I nibble on her arm and neck and she starts laughing! This immediately changes the mood and avoids a melt down! You keep your cool and look like you have everything under control! This is a great tip to use when you are out and about or at home!
- As a parent, it is important to leave your stress outside of the store. If you are on a mission or in a hurry to run errands then try to pick a day to do that without your kids. Children feed off of your stress and then act out. You feel like your sinking in quick sand and you have zero patience!
- Be happy! Laugh with them, be as loud as they are in the store, talk to your child, engage them in your task! Have them pick out your veggies, ask them to show you the color blue or red, have them pick out a letter when you’re at a store! If you can keep toddlers active in conversation then you a have a good chance to avoid a meltdown.
- SNACKS! Ok, never ever leave your house without snacks! There is not much more that needs to be said about this other than kids love snacks.
- Allow your child to be independent with supervision. Never let your child engage in something dangerous but if they want to use the vacuum or mop the floor, whatever it may be, let them do it! I have a fear of loosing Sissy if I let her walk beside me at the store, or her pulling everything off of the shelves. But, I let her be independent and if she makes a mess then I have her pick it up! It’s really wonderful to watch them grow… its sad too!
- When all else fails, we win over a tantrum with a quiet discussion about her behavior and then hug it out! HUG IT OUT FOLKS!
- Or, Disney Jr. App always saves the day, but this is our last go to! Don’t judge me, we’ve all done it!
This time in your child’s life is very short, don’t forget that. Patience will be tested, you will question your parenting skills, you may cry and want to pull out all of your hair! Just remember that they are going through a bigger change than you are! This world is new to them and independence and learning are so important for their development! Let them figure life out and be there to guide them through it! It is truly so exciting to watch my daughter develop, there is something new she learns every day! The terrible two’s are not terrible at all, they are terrific!
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